Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
