oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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