Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
