I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
