First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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