She said her name was "party"
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
