haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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