You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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