Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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