Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
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