Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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