this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize