Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize