Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
high people should be assigned attendants
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
