so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
