So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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