I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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