Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
