we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
