Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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