I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
this hospital has no fireball
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
