she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
