I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
