the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
