i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
