I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
