How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
