only if we run a train.
done.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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