did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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