I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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