She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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