would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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