I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize