you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
