Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize