so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
