Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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