Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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