you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
