All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
