Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
