But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize