I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
