I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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