he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
