susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
