We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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