How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
