Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
