we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
