You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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