How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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