no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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