take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize