so explain again why im purple
no
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
