I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
