I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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