I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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