You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
