If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
