ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
