I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My liver is preforming stress tests.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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