This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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