My first STD was from a foam party
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
